busy

if you haven't introduced yourself already, please feel free to do so

As I've gained more and more close friends, more than I've ever had in my life, and some closer than I've ever had in my life, I've come to realize something recently. Despite the prevailing feeling like I want a relationship, I don't actually know why it is I want one, nor what I have to gain from one. Many of my friends nowadays are in fact either people who have rejected me romantically, or are exs that things just didn't work out with but we found we made better friends. And that's been the case with getting rejected too. I just end up enjoying the friendship so much, and getting so much out of it, that I just start to wonder why I ever wanted anything more than that. And what even is more than that? Maybe everybody else has already realized this by my age, and my sheltered religious upbringing has just held me back a few years again, but I've started seriously considering, with every new crush, if they'd actually be any better for me as a partner instead of just a friend, and I've found that the answer, thus far, has always been no. I guess the only thing that still has me wondering is, well, what *does* a romantic relationship offer that friendship doesn't? My friends already love me, and tell me all the time. They already care for me in ways I used to think only a partner would, and I do my best to care for them too. I still desire a romantic relationship for *some* reason, but I just can't see what there is to gain anymore.

The universe has a strange way of fucking with one. In my experience, long and frustrating lulls where nothing happens are punctuated with "oh, you didn't like that? Well, here's everything at once." I should open with that I am not looking for advice; I've already made up my mind. I'm looking to commiserate and vent. Requisite backstory: Through a series of events much like what I described with getting back into journalism not too long ago, we met. This required my former boss, the lesbian who was my first real girlfriend, my parents, friends of my parents having moved to Oregon and, oh yes, I-5 freezing the day after said boss was done with me couchsurfing and we disagreed over "by the weekend." She was on the coast and I needed to get to Tacoma two days later. We'd been talking on OKCupid for at most two weeks. I looked at my options and determined nonfrozen roadway would be preferable, so I sent a very short message: "Fancy a visitor?" This was 2009, and she felt it was safe because to her mind, there was no way I was straight (bleached hair at 30, amirite?). We've now been divorced for eight years. I'm not going to talk about what went right or wrong. It is firmly in the past, and we have worked in recent years to get back on speaking terms, which varies in efficacy, usually depending on her inebriation level, which is itself horrifically ironic. So, after she offered to mail me an ounce in April and then went completely silent, with no ounce showing up, she finally popped up last night. She's about an hour away through the week before likely heading to Connecticut for an unknown period of time. No car -- she's going to figure out the transport down here -- but nonetheless, distilled, knowing that I live in a van with a bed too small for two people who aren't fucking: "Fancy a visitor?" And the reality is I do. Said *that* once before ... But wait, there's more! I'd already interacted with her in 2004, when she had a different account. Learned that one the day I moved into her house five days after meeting (which was *a drive*) and she showed me an old photo. Of her. Wearing what's in retrospect a rather pedestrian collar for something that actually has cone spikes. I can only say this in retrospect, because I went full Paul Hogan for the wedding after commissioning two artists: That's not a collar ... She fucking wears her wedding collar to this day (you want it to last, you want a blacksmith; also, be aware that a leather backing can cause cysts). And kept my name. So, you know, it's not entirely out of the blue that after all this time ... It's the surprise of it all. Even though it really shouldn't be surprising. So, maybe it's just the timing.

I've never been a reporter. You might think this is how one gets into journalism, but there are a few roads. Mine was columnist, copyed, opinion editor, running the fucking paper. As I start my third week as a reporter, there's much that is just strange. My reporters never deigned to tell me I was wrong, but I frequently tell my editor as much. "Look, we don't have a story here until DOE links what was in the press release" is apparently competence. Like, this is just obvious. No, I don't need praise for pointing out a glaring hole in a story. I just wake up and am myself, and I'm somehow paid for this. Given all the bullshit surrounding corporate roles, I'm left agape at how this still exists and my ability to just slide into something I've never done.

do it today. its friday. its been a tough, weird week. baby steps i spose. baby steps to the desk. baby steps to the task list. blech. how are the rest of ya handling this fine weekend eve? any plans? i think i might finally get around to finishing TOTK 

A discussion about the ethics of being a content creator or a fan and the implications of that influence.

Idk why I'm mentioning it but compared to a lot of other online platforms where if religion is being mentioned outside of a religious community it is really in your face on Lemmy it seems like when it is mentioned outside of that kind of community it seems relevant to whatever they are saying and are generally nice. Its a nice change of pace. [~Anti~ ~Commercial-AI~ ~license~ ~(CC~ ~BY-NC-SA~ ~4.0)~](https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/legalcode.en)

I post quite a bit here but it feels so damn quiet. Why?

I got inspired by [this article](https://www.pcmag.com/news/firefox-power-user-keeps-7400-plus-browser-tabs-open-for-2-years) to look into such a solution. I tend to use different browsers on different devices, so using one browser vendor everywhere is not the solution. Main reasons are storage space available, device performance and basically general opinion about a certain browser or another, that might change or not. I previously used the browser's native bookmarks importer tools, but I always ended messing up their structure, then switching back to a certain browser and re-exporting the same bookmarks and ending up with duplicates. So I got into using third party services, but I'm unsure what to choose. Here's what I tried: * [start.me](https://about.start.me/) - I actually had an account here since when I tried Palemoon once. It's a really complete solution, that I can use to replace other services as well. You end up with a customizable web page, where you can add not only bookmarks, but also RSS feeds, notes, tasks, weather and whatever you can find on the web and embedd there. And since it's a **start page** (hence the name), you can easily access all these if you set your page as the home page of your browser. You can also create up to 3 start pages with a free account, so I can have one page as home page for desktop browsers, one the phone ones and maybe one for a tablet when/if I'm going to have one. This should sound like heaven, right? Problem solved. Well, not exactly. There's no way I can set up 2FA on my account there, and they are not so private - they collect user data to show you ads (especially if you're a non-paying customer). * Courtesy of my Fedi server, I also have a small Nextcloud account, with the Bookmarks app installed. I think this option is the most private option I have available, as I do not think my server admin would sell my data to a third party or whatever 😁. It's also the most limiting one, being able to only save up to 200 bookmarks, but since I am not using bookmarks as a reading list, only for saving interesting websites or apps, I think I am fine. However, I need the [Floccus](https://floccus.org/) app installed on my phone (not sure if the UI of the Bookmarks app is manageable enough on mobile) to access the bookmarks. I did not find any way to display these bookmarks in an overview of some sort on the web, that I can set as a home page, similar to how start.me functions (even without all the extra stuff that is non-bookmark related). Maybe there is something that I am missing? * I was also eyeing [Raindrop.io](https://raindrop.io/) as an option. It has lots of features and integrations, add-ons for basically every mainstream browser, 2FA (just like Nextcloud). I do not have an account there, unlike the other options, however. And I also don't see a way to see these bookmarks as a dashboard or something that can be set as a home page. Am I missing something? I also see they are heavily advertising their smartphone app, so if there's no integration that I can set on IFTTT or the likes, I don't think I have any solution for this. So, if you were me, which solution would you choose? Is there anything that does what at least one of these options does, minus the drawbacks mentioned? Edit: I am also okay with using my personal cloud storage accounts for something like this.

[Archive link](https://ghostarchive.org/archive/JIbvl) So, this isn't news, nor is it science, per se. But I wanted to share here because I was one of those kids from about 2 to 4. As mentioned in the story, it of course all faded thereafter, but I could talk at length about my life in Texas even though I had never been. My parents found it odd but not entirely outside expectations.

The last thing I want to do is redundantly post, but as my new role proceeds apace, I'm aware that this site, the admins and mods believing in me was crucial to being able to land my new role. I now write the sort of no-bullshit stuff that I used to run. The audience is ~~listening~~ different, but I spent much of my day interacting with a professor who was just awarded a grant to create a stochastic model of future grid resilience by DOE. Instead of a daily story, I now have an enterprise piece on my hands. Dude expected from my questions, which led to getting his phone number, that I had an advanced degree. After invoicing banal transportation and warehousing in my prior role, this is an improvement. And without the support of this community in reaffirming (I hate that word) my ability to commit journalism, I'm not certain I would have gotten here. What I learned in starting this role is that you need to rope everyone who cares about you into next steps. My former assistant at Gannett got me the interview, my second ex-wife shot $150 my way to eat while sorting all this out, and once I'd gotten here, my parents were once again happy to assist in short-term financial aid. Beehaw was a significant piece of the puzzle, and I thank y'all for getting me back on track.

busy as usual, currently reading Alt-America (David Neiwert)

There was a weird moment a few years back. "If you could do anything you wanted to, what would it be?" I had no answer. Anything? Then came the rent hike. Had to get rid of the cat, as I could no longer afford food. So, as one does, I bought a stepvan. If you've never set up a 24V house system in a vehicle, I'd encourage you to give it a try. But, if you haven't, and a friend asks for your resume, well, green energy as a beat is unlikely to fly. Oddly, this did not apply ... *because* I had the background. *Because* I knew the secret handshakes. So I'm again asked: "If you could do anything ..." OK, fine, fine. You've got this solar setup. What if you could cover green energy and related tech? Uh ... I'm pretty certain everyone on Beehaw would like this idea of an live journalist being involved with U.S, News., and I'm happy to report that journalism is out there. The issue is it isn't coming from any "reputable" source. The sort of things the *Times* and *Post* put out no longer clear the bar. This is a minor mea culpa about standards for !usnews. I'm not sure I can stand behind the expectations from merely nine months ago. There's a dark joke there I'll refrain from making.

this week i am reading *When McKinsey Comes to Town: The Hidden Influence of the World's Most Powerful Consulting Firm* and i think i can speak with confidence when i say that i hope every McKinsey consultant chokes on a grape

I worked in the food industry for a while before returning back to school to get a degree in tech thinking it would be my path to a better life. While at first I thought where my career was taking me provided exactly that, I'm absolutely miserable working a corporate job in tech. I've seen several layoffs, AI is taking over, and the perpetual culture of playing several roles is killing me. I'm tired of being overworked, stressed, and given more and more responsibility for such trivial matters as selling more of X thing. This is not what I want to do for the rest of my life and I would way rather put in this type of effort for something worthwhile even if it means making less money. The problem is I am so overwhelmed that it is hard to think of a way to change this. I keep saying I want to bring my experience to a non-profit or charitable cause, but I am unsure on how I can bring my tech/project management background to such a cause or how to sell myself in that way. I'm also debating going to get my masters to be more aligned with this change in career, but it's a similar case of not knowing the best route. For anyone out there who has made this type of career change regardless if it was in tech, I would appreciate any wisdom shared.

it's a bit of a busy week but i am currently reading *I Want to Believe: Posadism, UFOs and Apocalypse Communism*

What's something you love, and love describing or explaining to people who are new to that interest, hobby, or activity?

tuesday edition because i'm busy

Both here and on reddit communities/subreddits, especially big ones, is a difficult place to hold a discussion on the topic of that community. Take for example technology, I could enjoy to discuss anything from SR-IOV to maglev trains. But the technology subs are filled with business news of companies run by eccentric billionaires. Even when the news article is a somewhat interesting topic many "news" site are so filled with ads and autoplay videos I close them immediately. I would enjoy seeing what other people have on there their mind, and see it bring interesting discussions. Instead all these communities drown in posts of links to news site. And the comment-section on those type of post isn't the right place for a "philosophical" discussions that would otherwise be on topic for that sub/community, but exactly align with topic of that post or news article. Some old fashion webforum have a separate subforum-section dedicated to posting links to external sites, leaving that place open to actual discussion. Reddit have flairs, but few people use them. So still the problems remain that text post would drown in the hundreds of link posts, leaving the text-post empty. What are your thoughts on this? *I hope this isn't too much negativity from my part. I would only like to see something better than what we have now.*

It’s really a question. I was going to comment how the term sounds one-sided to me, decided to do a quick search and realized there’s some controversy to the idea. I’m from Brazil and we don’t have a term for that as far as I know, so there might be a linguistic component to the sentiment I have as well. If I say someone is my ally, I’m automatically their ally. Right? We have a common cause, even if the specifics may differ. Or we have a single goal, mission, vision, desire, and so on. We are allies, we are together. Then we have this concept of ally that seems to exist to denote a separation. I’m an ally because I’m other. Or, I’m an ally because I don’t have the same experiences, therefore I can’t speak from the same place you stand. The idea we have to understand we speak from different places is important, but drawing a line in the cause and putting allies to one side is weird. Let me put it this way. Instead of sounding like “understand your situation is different than my own”, it sounds more like “know your place”. How do you feel about that? Am I missing something?

Please be kind with me as I am new to this platform. I was at a club when a very handsome guy, totally my type, started dancing with me. I don't know what gave me the courage to take the half finished beer from his hand and take a sip of it without asking. I then gave his beer back to him, and he said he had to go but will be right back. It was an excuse to stop dancing with me since he just stayed put in his friend group without going anywhere. I've been feeling really bad after that happened and would have danced the night away with him if I could. And now I have no idea what his name or phone number is, just keep replaying that night in my mind. What is your opinion on a woman taking a man's beer and having a sip without asking? Is it such an awful gesture that his sudden rejection was warranted? Was he angry, scared off, or just thought I was easy? I am not that type of person and had no ill intentions whatsoever. I just acted on natural impulse and was trying to be flirtatious. Thank you for any advice and comfort.

My list would be 1. Refused - New noise 2. Gates - Bloom 3. Ayla - Ayla (Taucher remix) 4. Tiesto - Elements of life 5. Bobby McFerrin - Don't worry be happy

EDIT: as one of the admins explained below, they plan to migrate to something whitch uses ActivityPub, which means that my concerns are gone. I liked the interactions between servers who are equally wholesome compared to beehaw, which will be possible after the migration because of ActivityPub. So therefore, my sadness is canceled.) The internet has already some queer forums similar to beehaw. For instance raddle.me and i am sure there are more that i don't know. Both have their unique flair and that's fine. I think lemmy (or more precisely, the ActivityPub powered fediverse that is at the core of lemmy) presents the unique oportunity to avoid isolated corners of the internet. I like raddle and beehaw, but i notice that i seldom read raddle and i think if beehaw goes to a similar isolated platform, i will probably read beehaw less. I know that the mods tried to talk to the devs and their desinterest is equally sad. However, i think you as a big instance still have one unused tool to fix lemmy's moderation issues within the "near short timeframe": talk to nlnet, the initial sponsor and explain to them your moderation issues. I think https://nlnet.nl/ would be interested given that lemmy is quite popular. i think this could lead to two solutions: * nlnet understands the issue and comes back to the lemmy devs and integrates the moderation tools into the next milestone so that the lemmy devs are more forced to develop those things. * nlnet understands the issue and hires independent developers who fix the moderation tools which could either be integrated into lemmy (i think the devs wouldn't say no to this) - or it could lead to a fork.

busy week, taking a bunch of notes, not much time to talk

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/17079522 > To keep it short the reason why some people are ok with authoritarianism is because most structures that we deal with on a daily basis are authoritarian. > > Here is evidence that shows a significant amount of people are ok with authoritarianism: > > https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/02/28/who-likes-authoritarianism-and-how-do-they-want-to-change-their-government/sr_24-02-28_authoritarianism_1/ > > This should be concerning. > > And the thing is that it makes sense once you look at what are the most common systems that people interact with the most. > > A clear example would be the Boss-Worker relationship. The boss creates a set of objectives/tasks for the worker and the worker sees them out. Rarely does the worker get the chance to set the higher level direction of what they are supposed to be doing with their time leaving them obedient to the boss and their demands. > > Another example would be some Parent-Child relationships. Some parents treat their children as people that should show absolute respect towards them just because they are the parents not because they have something that is of value to the child (experience). > > Even in the places where we do make democratic decisions those are usually made in ways that are supposed to be supplemental to authoritative decision making. An example would be how we don’t vote on decisions but instead how we vote on others to make decisions for us. > > Once you add up all the experiences that someone has throughout their whole life you will see that most of them come into direct contact with authoritarian systems which means it makes that kind of way of thinking familiar and therefore acceptable. > > Unlike democracy which is an abstract concept and something we only really experience from time to time. > > If we want people to actually stop thinking authoritarianism is ok then we as a society are gonna have to stop using these kinds of systems / ways of thinking in our daily lives.

First of all, I am speaking to all of you in a **non-official capacity**. Hence, why you are finding it in the chat community. Secondly, I am very grateful and humbled to be in the position of a Beehaw administrator. The other four Beehaw administrators are a joy to work with, each with their own superpowers that they bring to the table. Approximately 13 years ago, I kept waking up every morning feeling overwhelmed with thankfulness. That may sound strange and I never expected to have this sort of problem. Weeks and months of this feeling, with no relief in sight, I came to the end of my rope. I cried out to the universe: “What am I supposed to be doing?!?!?!”. The answer came moments later in a telepathic whisper inside my mind: “Bless others as I bless you”. To some, this may sound like I am schizophrenic. I assure you that I am **not**. I started by simply being as generous and kind as possible with everyone around me. And now, I am continuing with this trend by blending it with my professional background. Namely, information technology. More specifically, beta testing (e.g. Orkut, Gmail, Imzy, Tildes to name a few), web development, social media and the like. I am honored to be in the position that I am. I am, **incredibly**, fortunate. Beehaw’s ’Northern Star’ (e.g. guiding principle) is to ***be(e) nice***. I hope that all of you find it in your selves to carry this torch through the rest of your lives.

pretty wacky week last week, it snowed a ton here, may or may not have bedbugs although if we do for now they seem contained(?) so keeping an eye on that

Couldn't find any venting communities on Lemmy, but if one exists please direct me to it. I'm fairly sick right now so I could have just missed one in my dazed state. I've been dealing with a problem lately. Technically not just lately, but my whole life, but for the past few years it's something I didn't have to worry about. I've always been a fairly popular person in whatever circles I take part in. People like me. They like my personality. They like my appearance. My friends value me extremely highly. All that's great. But when it comes to relationships, I always flop on my face. Some people find me really attractive but don't want anything serious. Some people do want something serious, but get scared off the second they see what's hiding under the hood. Others just prefer me as a friend and would rather not complicate that with a relationship. But practically zero people both want anything serious and find themselves able to handle me and my mental issues. There's only been one person ever who I ever had any semblance of a successful relationship with, and that was my first ex. We dated for two years, fell deeply in love, but still in the end broke up because of mental issues making being together too painful to deal with. I'm just so afraid I'll never find anyone. I found the first person in the world who could handle my emotional outbursts completely unfazed recently, and she just wanted to be friends. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to have a friend as amazing as her. I'm just living in fear that I'll never be able to find somebody who can handle and understand me like she can, who does want to be anything more. I just want people to stop leaving because of my over-tuned emotions getting in the way. And yeah, yeah, I know, "you don't need a relationship to be happy" and whatever. That's not the point. The point is I practically don't even have the option of a relationship in the first place because nobody can handle my deeper issues. I'm on numerous meds. I've tried therapy, and am still trying. I've done all I can on the road to self improvement and the only thing left I can do is find somebody who can handle what issues remain, and it doesn't look like that'll happen. It feels like I got a million romantic options and zero of them are good ones. I know there's only one real solution, and that's to keep trying, and keep looking. I just needed to vent about it because the process of doing so is making me feel like shit and giving up would make me feel even worse, as if accepting that I'm unlovable.

are you doing anything to celebrate? do you typically observe the “solar holidays?” i usually have a bonfire with friends to mark the passage of time, but it snuck up on me this year. maybe i can light a candle instead and let that be enough.

I was the news editor of smaller of the two sister papers from 2003-2006, when I was pushed out by the IT manager (offsite at the other paper). Life conspired to keep me in town, as my fiancee was wrapping her undergrad. I got laid off the next year because the next place I worked shut down. I was able to quickly find a temporary position out of state via networking, but after signing a six-month lease, *that* job evaporated in only 10 weeks. Next job ran five months before layoffs were threatened, prompting me to find a position at a small weekly in the town I wanted to retire in but turned out to be nominally editorial but functionally advertising, leading to my first panic attack and resignation. Owing to a lot of other shit happening, I wasn't in a position worth even putting on a resume for 14 months. On the other end of that was 19 months at the local paper where I'd landed, cut short because I decided a 50% raise to go into marketing was worth the ethical costs (and would return me to where I'd started in 2003). I only had to endure that for 10 months, when our three-year contract was terminated. I quickly found work at an audiobook publisher, but nine months into that, I walked out from a dressing down from my boss, on the production floor, for doing what I'd been told to do (and not in a malicious-compliance sort of way). A couple months later, a SWAT team rousted my family from our hotel room Christmas Eve, and to my wife's surprise, before we got to the ground floor, I'd dialed the batphone at the paper. After being a source on A1 for the Christmas edition, I figured I had nothing to lose by emailing the editor. The old IT guy was gone, and they were looking for a part-time, temporary copyeditor ahead of the desk being shipped off to Texas, so I started the new year working across from the city ed from back in the day. I did not follow my job at first, as it was a pay cut in a far more expensive city, but after nine months of fruitless searching, I got back in touch and took the job here, which I had three roles at over nearly five years. So I'm seriously considering removing several of the intervening positions and stretching both stints to paper over both the gaps and the instability itself, as there's no one to call to verify when I worked there. Being midcareer, it's hard enough to get past software gatekeepers in the first place, but seven mostly nonconsecutive positions in as many years can't be helping my score. The two main wrinkles I can foresee are a wholesale refactor of my LinkedIn could be a red flag, and the most basic of background reports would place me in two other states before remote journalism work was a thing. I don't like the idea of lying on my resume, but what I'm doing now isn't working. Are there other risks I'm not considering? I'd love some stability going forward, but I'm not going to expect any job to last long enough that this could stymie a promotion.

this is a sort of novel follow up to a question i asked previously, which was [your opinion on right of nature laws, which recognize natural entities as having "personhood" or legal rights comparable to humans](https://beehaw.org/post/11587201?scrollToComments=true). Berry was a theologian who wrote extensively on the rights of nature and ecology generally. one of his lasting works are his 10 principles as enumerated in [The Origin, Differentiation and Role of Rights](https://www.ties-edu.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/Thomas-Berry-rights.pdf), which are: 1. Rights originate where existence originates. That which determines existence determines rights. 2. Since it has no further context of existence in the phenomenal order, the universe is self-referent in its being and self-normative in its activities. It is also the primary referent in the being and activities of all derivative modes of being. 3. The universe is a communion of subjects, not a collection of objects. As subjects, the component members of the universe are capable of having rights. 4. The natural world on the planet Earth gets its rights from the same source that humans get their rights, from the universe that brought them into being. 5. Every component of the Earth community has three rights. The right to be, the right to habitat, and the right to fulfill its role in the ever-renewing process of the Earth community. 6. All rights are species specific and limited. Rivers have river rights. Birds have bird rights. Insects have insect rights. Humans have human rights. Difference of rights is qualitative not quantitative. The rights of an insect would be of no use to a tree or fish. 7. Human rights do not cancel out the rights of other modes of being to exist in their natural state. Human property rights are not absolute. Property rights are simply a special relationship between a particular human "owner" and a particular piece of "property" for the benefit of both. 8. Species exist in the form of individuals and groupings--flock, herds, schools of fish and so forth. Rights refer to individuals and groupings, not simply in a general way to species. 9. These rights as presented here establish the relationships that the various components of the Earth have toward each other. The planet earth is a single community bound together with interdependent relationships. Every component of the Earth community is immediately or mediately dependent on every other member of the Community for the nourishment and assistance it needs for its own survival. This mutual nourishment, which includes predator-prey relationship, is integral with the role that each component of the Earth has within the comprehensive community of existence. 10. In a special manner humans have not only a need for but a right of access to the natural world, not only to supply their physical needs but also to provide the wonder needed by human intelligence, the beauty needed by human imagination, and the intimacy needed by the human emotions.

I’ve been the GM for my friend group and for one year I’ve been the architect giving voice to many places, many characters, a whole world for us to explore. At times my goal was only to instill fears into my players, identify what they were most afraid of loosing and made the threat of it happening looming over their head. I rarely every killed my characters, I just feel shitty doing so; and I found more _creative_ ways of creating consequences for failures. I didn’t just want death to be a problem, I wanted real consequences: being forcefully put under the control of the whomever they were fighting, becoming crippled, or loosing something dear to them. By doing so, when they succeed at accomplishing the goal they set for themselves, it felt amazing and epic! Finally killing this boss! It was a _more-than-amazing_ experience and it has left me with unforgettable memories which where at the same time funny&epic. We had to stop because they all started their superior studies after high school and I was one year younger than them. We’re still in contact but we’re all far away from one another and we’re sooo busy. I’m going to try to find a group to play with, I hope I will because solo TTRPG is cool but I miss the social emulation. I still prep games, but for nothing because I can’t actually see what I made in action; me being forced to improvise, etc… I miss doing that lol. So yeah, just wanted to tell this little story Good night ;)

I was watching a video by Georgia Dow in which she talked about a study showing how fear drives people to be more conservative. What that reminded me of was the rationalization I keep stumbling upon almost every day lately: "the alternative is worse". We are mostly not revolutionaries willing to die for a cause. We just want to live our quiet lives, so we pay the thugs that offer us protection from themselves. The alternative is worse. I can't criticise people for trying to survive, but I think it's important to be honest with ourselves. It's all bad and the good option is really hard and a scary risk with too many sacrifices. And let me get personal to drive the point home. Anxiety and depression are just my reality. I'm very isolated and avoid interactions as much as I can. I'm in a bad place and would totally tell you with great conviction that out there somewhere is worse. I also believe it could be amazing, but the chances of me suffering, actually, the certainty, makes me think it's not worth it even trying. Anyway. Be kind kind to yourselves, be kind to all the others, but be honest.

I'm recovering after quite a bad period of my life. Everything else seems surprisingly ok so far. Absolutely nothing out of ordinary happened yet EDIT: nvm the good bad repeat cycle is still there so it's all still the same

busy all around between the site stuff, other stuff, and interpersonal happenings

Share your interests, whether niche or common. I've figured news tends to skew negative, and I'd like to see the hive talk about what they love rather than what they hate. POSITIVITY PASSION SPACE GO GO GO