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how’s your week going, Beehaw
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pretty quiet week this week if you ignore whatever the hell is going on with our bathroom toilet, which has a diagnostic issue we can't troubleshoot and which has flooded once this week. calling maintenance once again to see if we can figure this out so i don't have to plunge every third time we flush (ironically it'd be way easier if we just had to plunge every time--but it's the times we *don't* that make this extremely bizarre)
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another beehaw introduction thread
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if you haven't introduced yourself already, please feel free to do so
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Is there any up-side to Alabama’s crazy embryo ruling (which hit the logical conclusion to their arguments)
First the crazy: Alabama has been calling embryos and fetuses 'people' for a long time. The latest ruling says that even frozen embryos are 'people'. This ruling says: > “We believe that each human being, from the moment of conception, is made in the image of God, created by Him to reflect His likeness. It is as if the People of Alabama took what was spoken of the prophet Jeremiah and applied it to every unborn person in this state: ‘Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, Before you were born I sanctified you.’ Jeremiah 1:5 (NKJV 1982)”. source: archive: https://archive.is/fBJnL | https://premierchristian.news/en/news/article/created-by-him-to-reflect-his-likeness-alabama-judge-quotes-bible-in-embryo-lawsuit-ruling USA Today points to Gorsuch as opening the gates to highly religious rulings: > The First Amendment's Establishment Clause typically limits the role religion can play in government, but the U.S. Supreme Court in 2022 changed the longstanding process by which it reviewed conflicts between government and religion. The decision to change that process was written by Justice Gorsuch, who said the court needed to rely more heavily on "reference to historical practices and understandings." Parker, the Alabama judge, specifically referenced Gorsuch in his concurrent opinion. source: archive: https://archive.is/cPjgw | https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2024/02/22/ivf-opinion-from-alabama-justice-was-overtly-religious/72689378007/ Slate points out that by the Court's own logic, both the 'parents' and the clinic should be charged with murder (as well as the person who actually dropped the embryos). source: archive: https://archive.is/7l3vx | https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2024/02/abortion-bans-alabamas-anti-ivf-ruling-fail.html WITH ALL THAT: Perhaps it is a good thing that the whole nation now has a reason to take a long hard look at what it means to be a 'person'. I've seen studies saying anywhere from 20%-60% of all pregnancies end in spontaneous abortion; most before the woman realizes she is pregnant. This paper says maybe as low as 10%, but only if you aren't paying attention: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5741961/ > The spontaneous miscarriage rate varies between from 10% to 20% where 10% refers to late recognition of pregnancy and 20% refers to research involving routinely testing for pregnancy before 4 weeks or 4 weeks after the last menstrual period This chart says there's a 30% chance of miscarrying in the first week, with reduced risks after that: https://datayze.com/miscarriage-chart Per Alabama, is God that invested in killing 'unborn' 'people'? Given how likely it is for an embryo to naturally abort, can we ever claim "beyond reasonable doubt" that a pregnancy was ever viable? The above Slate piece suggests the unborn be treated as property. That might work for cells you want to keep, but note that there's a Supreme Court precedent that *discarded* cells are NOT a person's property and can be commercialized (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henrietta_Lacks#Consent_issues_and_privacy_concerns). If we try to define when life begins, the Religious Right is sure to get deference. Look at how they've put "heartbeat bills" in place for embryos that don't HAVE HEARTS! Personally, I don't think setting a time constraint should be involved in defining life, but we're here to chat and discuss. Lastly, CNN offered an opinion that we could choose to be more like South Korea which ruled (as summarized in Op-Ed): > If embryonic or fetal life has value, the state shouldn’t start with criminalization. Instead, the government may have a constitutional obligation to advance its interest in protecting that life in ways that don’t limit reproductive liberty, by protecting pregnant workers, delivering better prenatal care or safe housing and reducing the rate of maternal mortality. source: archive: https://archive.is/GV0M0 | https://www.cnn.com/2024/02/21/opinions/alabama-supreme-court-fetal-embryo-personhood-abortion-ziegler/index.html
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How do people look at American society and think “this is something to aspire to be fully involved in”?
I'm at wit's end. I'm three months into a job search like the 30-month one I went through starting four years ago, and things proceed apace. I've gotten zero interviews despite 20 years of experience, and even finding things I think I could stand is a fucking tall ask. I've always been of the mindset that if you have a good product, shockingly little marketing is required. And that investing in the product is going to have a far larger ROI than blowing money on trying to convince people your product is better than it is. Just fucking, you know, *make it better*. Which is what I've always done. Whether it's a redesign or significantly better editing than the audience is used to, or infographics for stories that no one is going to comprehend from text analysis. Or, process improvement that makes employees lives better even though it may challenge the necessity of salaried positions. I cannot and will not subscribe to this notion that lying to people for pay is an ethical career. During my one stint in marketing, I got to the point of feeling physically ill that I was making the best money in my life to write saccharine copy about products we internally mocked our customers for buying. I honestly don't know how I can find a job that makes life worth living at this point, which is less than ideal when ideation is always on the menu (I last got out of a psych ward in late January, and all they had to offer is "you need to stop wanting what you want."). I don't understand why I would want to be alive to be able to pay off debt accrued because society has already discarded me as useless. I swear to fucking god, I cannot handle being told again that I'm wrong to have the ethics and goals in life that I do. If these do not align with the positions advertised, then the logical choice is simply removing myself from this clusterfuck. I have provable results from things I've done that did align, so why does saving companies six and seven figures several times by teaching myself what I needed to to accomplish my goals over the course of my career make me a bad hire? I've rarely worked for competent managers, so I'm generally needed to actually get improvements done. I don't care about my title, and I've topped out at $48K, so it's not like I'm looking for $150K ... but I don't like selling myself through insipid, meaningless prose just because it's what others want to hear. What is the point of even being alive when everyone is telling me I'm wrong to want to accomplish things that improve the lives of people other than shareholders? They sure as fuck don't need the money. I do, but I don't count because I've not already rolled over and begged to suck at the teat of immoral people who care nothing for the rest of the world, let alone the people without whom they'd have no product in the first place.
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how’s your week going, Beehaw
bit busy this week, so the thread is late
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How do you date?
Recently had a conversation with a good friend about dating, and it had me curious about how everyone on Beehaw approaches dating. Tell me a bit about how you date! Here's a few prompts/thoughts I'm curious about: * How long does it take for you to know if you're attracted to someone (sexually, romantically, emotionally, shared interests, etc)? * What do you like to do when you date and does it change depending on how many dates you've been on or how well you know the person? * Once you start dating someone, how long does it take you to understand whether you want to date the person long term or whether it's not going to work out? * Do you only date people you meet in real life or do you use dating apps? How do you approach going from stranger to dating them? * What's most important in deciding whether you want to date someone? Do they need to have an interest in activities you enjoy, shared values, emotional intelligence, a certain kind of humor, or something else? * Is there something you don't understand about dating and want to share your frustration?
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How do you deal with suicidal thoughts?
I’ve 🐝 bee-n fighting for two years now. I have this « job » that I’ve been stuck with forever now. My inability to enjoy the little things of life is just another indication of my dereliction: hating the bitter man I’m becoming, seeing myself in people I despise, being unable to think, speak, create. There’s no future for me here. No way out from my work. No time to dedicate to what I love. I read the introduction of Camus’ « L’homme Révolté » about absurdism in other to be something else than a consuming shitty human, and I don’t agree with most of the moral dilemmas: killing yourself is not the same as killing another person. I’m making a choice for myself and maybe, one of the limits of this argument is that I’m imposing my absence on others… But who might miss me? My family & friends? It’s true, there are the ones that made me stay this long, but nothing is changing, and I need to help myself. ಥ_ಥ, maybe see you tomorrow ?
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Seeking advice: know anything about U.S. end-of-life care/financial programs?
A relative has late-ish stage pulmonary fibrosis, needs oxygen in bed, and can't walk around even *with* oxygen. He's getting kicked out of the hospital because they can't improve him, but he might live another year or two and doesn't want to pay for hospice. I can't imagine his wife dealing with all his needs (they're both in their 70s) but I've no idea if there are programs that get him care without leaving his wife destitute. They have a fair nest egg and own their house, but he doesn't want to 'waste' their money on health care. I kinda get it, but also: he needs care. Anyone know of programs to look at? I'm looking for useful links, but I keep hitting things that either look scammy or like they won't apply (example: if he is deemed 'disabled', doesn't the govt. basically not care at all until you are broke?)
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how’s your week going, Beehaw
about to finish book 9 out of 40 for the year this morning. we're also in the planning stages of something related to Beehaw which *hopefully* we'll fit into this month, but no promises
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  • loopy
  • English
  • 24d
What do you really enjoy doing?
I recently started learning hand tool woodworking and won’t shut up about it haha. I found a few books and channels that are helpful and feel *real*. The more I do it, the more it’s apparent to me that many things around me are just distractions. It’s really nice to unplug from everything and make some things or practice using/sharpening my tools. Those little moments when something clicks feel weirdly fulfilling. What do you all enjoy doing? Have you found any new passions? What do you like about it?
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These days there is too much nerve-racking content on Beehaw, we should post less articles and more about the life of the people here!
All this « editorial » content is so unnerving with so much shit happening in the world. It does not feel like a safe place if you doomscroll every time you browse it…
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To end capitalism we need to ignore it.
Capitalism is a game where only a few people get to win. We have also seen time and time again that it is a game that is able to manipulate and change whatever ideology or behaviour you have to work towards its own benefit. So the only way to actually "win" is to not play the game. Right now that seems impossible because it is a massive collective action problem, however this whole platform is a testament to show that it's possible to overcome that kind of problem. Reddit is a dominant platform that is starting to destroy itself. People are in turn finding alternatives such as Lemmy to satisfy the need that Reddit once did. I view capitalism in the same way. It will never truly completely cease to exist (the same way Digg never truly died), but it can become irrelevant over time if we collectively decide to just use another system to satisfy the same needs that capitalism is satisfying today. The one example that I can think of that tries to tackle this problem is the idea of free stores that are based on a gift economy. If more people decided to use this system instead of capitalism then capitalism will have less sway over people's lives. And in the end it doesn't have to be specifically a free store that needs to be adopted by wider society but whatever it is does need to satisfy the same basic need that capitalism does in our current society.
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I read this article recently and I was just thinking about my news consumption and how much I want to be affected by it. I feel like it is important because shit is going on in the world however I usually don't change my habits much over it. I also think that there should be a middle ground somewhere but I can't think of it so if anyone of you have ideas please share them.
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how’s your week going, Beehaw
it has been a pretty quiet week, although there was excellent schadenfreude yesterday from Ron Desantis dropping out
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What are some libraries, software, etc… that you’d like to see be built in open-source?
I’m trying to get accustomed to writing asynchronous/concurrent Rust or any language! I just want to build software that helps people, and hopefully makes friends along the way.
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What you don’t want to do is throw your ex-wife into the mix as the world slowly crumbles around you.
I'm at the limit of survival, which is not ideal. By this, I mean I have no income, no financial support, and my van doesn't start. This last bit turbocharges the first. If I can't shower, I can't go into an interview. And so, my ex shows up, as she always does. She moved back to Oregon and discovered that *where* one is at does not assist *what* one wants. So she's in Texas now, needing to be useful in some way that her increasingly shitty job cannot provide. Which puts us on the same path for the first time since meeting 14 years ago. There was a lot of throat-clearing on the call last night before we realized we'd found our own paths to the same place. I don't know what this means ... I don't think regaling y'all with details is particularly helpful, but she has energy I don't to throw at my family, who's given up on me because I see late-stage capitalism for what it is. Given prior art that would necessitate a trigger warning, I can't see being part of the machinery that tells us to obey. But what's so absurd is the person who may be my biggest exponent is also the person who crushed me and turned me into who I am. It's like Stockholm Syndrome on steroids.
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How much does a creator’s worldview influence whether you use their tech or consume their media?
Watching the drama around [kagi](https://octodon.social/@walruslifestyle/111721410986331209) unfold and it has me wondering how much you take into consideration a creator's view on things like homophobia, sexism, racism, etc. when deciding to use a product. I think most of us have a bar somewhere (I would imagine very few on this website would ever consider registering on an altright platform), so where is that bar for you? What about art? Have you boycotted JKR or dropped your opinion about Picasso because they're transphobic and misogynistic respectively? Is it about the general vibe of a product or piece of media, or are you more discerning? What goes into this decision and why?
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Favorite Charities?
What are your favorite charities? What do you regularly give to? I have some empty space in my "secular tithing" budget that I'm looking to fill in.
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how’s your week going, Beehaw
currently on book 4 for the year (goal of 40)
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Would the Beehaw community be interested in some pay-it-forward action?
Currently, we have [$6,500.91 in our hopper](https://opencollective.com/beehaw/expenses). It just seems weird having all of those, mostly, unused funds sitting there doing nothing. I just wanted to start the conversation about the possibility of paying-it-forward in some capacity. For example, a certain percentage of monthly contributions could go to a charity. What are your thoughts?
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how’s your week going, Beehaw
it's week 2 of 2024 and Holy Fuck Is It Windy Out There right now, oh god
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Why are redditors like this?
I made a post on r/civ (Civilization games subreddit) showing a really funky shaped randomly generated river I saw and most comments were fine but one guy was *convinced* that I went through the comparatively monumental effort of opening the map editor and changing the river for karma, as opposed to just starting the game and taking a screenshot. And just to top it off another guy saw the fact that my scout unit was in the far north of the map and went on an obscenely condescending diatribe about how "ackshually" I should be placing my units in the far south of the map because that way I can explore better and whatever the hell. Dude did not stop for *one second* to consider that maybe the scout that was in the far north was exploring the cool river and that I didn't waste any production points on him because I got him for free from a tribal village... God every time I go on that website (because let's be honest not a whole lot of good communities here for what I'm interested in) I get excited to share something super innocent and then some total loser has to come and ruin it all.
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Thinking about the direction of Beehaw
Over the years I’ve been trying to encapsulate, as simply as possible, what Beehaw interactions would look like ideally. I kept coming back to all of my personal memories having holiday meals (Thanksgiving and Christmas for example) with very close family and friends. Thinking back through decades of these meetings, I cannot remember anything but everyone being kind and charitable in action as well as speech. Many pages of very thoughtful and reasonable philosophic explanations have been written, on our sidebar, about the behavioral expectations of Beehaw. Let’s go back to the holiday meals for a moment and imagine having an **open** invitation for **anyone** to join. What do you think the outcomes would be? This is the problem that our endeavor is experiencing. The open nature of ActivityPub (allowing anyone to join our table) is defeating our purpose. The administrators, moderators and community members have been thinking about this for several months. I, personally, believe that we all will come to a comfortable consensus moving forward.
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I thought it was cute enough that if y'all hadn't seen it, you might enjoy it.
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how’s your year going, Beehaw
welcome to the new age
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Happy New Years ya jerks
I'm drunk. My partner deleted what I originally wrote. It was about how fallible we humans are to put it nicely. Regardless of our failings which we know we have, I really wish y'all as great a 2024 as we can manage. At the very least I hope we can have a better year. I won't be forgetting any auld acquaintances. Have a good time in 2024. Bee cool.
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how’s your holidays going, Beehaw
it's a special Christmas/New Years edition of the Beehaw weekly thread! post all the shenanigans you're up to
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Something disturbing about Hallmark movies
I was talking with a friend today about Hallmark movies because we all seem to have at least one grandma who loves them around this time of year, and we're hashing out the tropes they all share because they're so formulaic that you could probably boil it down to a mad libs prompt, and something dawned on me because of one particular similarity, not in every film, but a lot of them - the Heroine quitting her high-stress executive job to move to a quaint little town and settle down with Mr. Right. It struck me as deeply misogynistic that the movies imply she can't have both and that her career goals aren't worth it compared to getting some dick. The other side of that coin is, in almost every single one of these movies, the guy is a Prince who needs to marry, or secretly loaded, or otherwise financially stable unless the plot revolves around his family whatever on the brink of closure that the Heroine steps in to help save the day, *and* he's shown to be a good-if-distant dad to his kids, if he has any, but needs help raising them because work keeps him busy, or his nanny's retiring. It's never implied that he should be the one giving up his lifestyle to be a better partner for her; The only thing Mr. Right is *ever* doing wrong in these movies, if anything, is just not already being with her, and I get that these films are basically wish fulfillment fics, but she is *always* the one who has to make a change for him, to basically be a stay at home mom, or step closer to it than she was at the beginning of the film. Does anybody else see that? Am I wrong in thinking that's absolutely fucking *greasy?*
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What were your wedding processionals/recessionals and why?
I was just running through these, and, I think they're rather illuminating. First wedding: Processional: Andres Segovia - Recuerdos de la Alhambra *a track I associate with family ski trips* Recessional: The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony *let's not talk about the implications* It should be noted that our vows were "for as long as it works." Second round: Processional (and this was truly brilliant): Harry Belafonte - Hole in the Bucket (careful what you first fuck to) Recessional: [Chihiro Onitsuka - Innocence](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fE7Evs4q5uw) *a track I looked up after an ad from Applied Materials*
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Alone for Christmas, once again
If there's one phrase that has echoed in the back of my mind, it's that I have no family, and by that I mean no children or spouse - and I'm middle aged. I have relatives of course, sisters, nieces, nephews and a grandma. Both my parents died some years ago, so there's no going home to them. My sister's are so busy with their lives, and one actively ignores me, largely because she's dealing with her own issues. I'm not going to grandma's, because my crazy creationist cunt of an aunt will probably call me a communist atheist while she parrots Isreali propaganda. I'd rather be alone than face that, which is sad AF since grandma is selling the family house and this will be the last year we can spend Christmas there. Add to that the fact I never really had a full relationship because I focused all my time developing skills, something that used to bring me joy and the promise of success, but now I sort of hate what I do and haven't been able to reach success. I've all but abandoned my dream and am deeply insecure about my future. In effect I have worked long and hard with nothing to show for it. I have no feeling of belonging with my own countrymen even, and the foreigners are so self conscious that you instantly get pegged as "one of them", "the other", as they treat you as an inferior because they them selves have been made to feel inferior and feel the need to cope via toxicity. Can't turn around without being slapped with some social pressure or putdown. I don't feel like dealing with anyone. This will be the second Christmas I spend alone and I don't really feel like reaching out. I feel like a burden, like someone who has to be catered to, facilitated, tolerated. My only want is an escape. Whether that means leaving the country, joining a cult, moving out into a cave, I don't know. I just don't know how to deal. I can't really relate to anyone and I can't find anyone I can trust, or who I feel I can confide in. So I take to the internet, to completely random strangers for respite. Tell me your stories of loneliness, wether ongoing or from the past, how you intend to deal with it or how you dealt with it.
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how’s your week going, Beehaw
i am currently munching on a foot long sub and beginning the latest Native map update
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Recent and perplexing ordeal with YouTube
I worked for many years (hundreds of hours) locating, remastering and uploading content for a fan-based YouTube channel named 'R.E.M. Archive'. I did 99% of the work and was happy to do this for the huge fan base. I believe the channel existed for about 6 years or so. I had to use the Wayback Machine in order to find an example [screenshot](https://i.imgur.com/jJYLcu6.jpg) of a video description. A few weeks ago, I checked the email address associated with the channel and found [this email from YouTube](https://i.imgur.com/gzK2V5s.jpg). I followed a link, provided in that email, to fill out an appeal form. I, simply, stated that I'd be willing to make any/all adjustments to make the channel compliant with their policy. And [this was the response](https://i.imgur.com/4tU6Vyk.jpg) I received. I'm not even mad. I will not fight them. This is utter horse shit.
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how’s your week going, Beehaw
just finished [part one](https://beehaw.org/post/10263816?scrollToComments=true) of my latest big project. not much to report; this has kept me very busy for the past week and change
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Discord community recommendations?
Anyone recommend any good discord servers for chat/gaming? Looking for something relatively active and not too toxic, figured Beehaw is a good place to ask
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    Beehaw
    Aspiring to be(e) a safe, friendly and diverse place.

    We’re a collective of individuals upset with the way social media has been traditionally governed. A severe lack of moderation has led to major platforms like Facebook to turn into political machinery focused on disinformation campaigns as a way to make profit off of users. Websites with ineffective moderation allow hate speech to proliferate and contribute to the erosion of minority rights and safe spaces. Our goal with Beehaw is to demonstrate and promote a healthier environment.

    Our philosophy:

    Downvotes are disabled on this instance.

    Be(e) nice.


    As a news aggregator and a social media outlet, with a focus on being a safe and accepting space, we strive to create a positive social impact. We will, also, help to connect underprivileged and minority individuals with education and civic participation by promoting a healthier online experience.


    We currently have a Mastodon account you can follow for major updates: @beehaw at hachyderm.io. You can also join our community Discord or Matrix servers. You can also view our status page.


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